Boys Boys Boys

Dickhead - Dorothy's boyfriend

Knobhead - I'd snog him if I had to

It was a delight to be visited by two of my favourite boys this morning and even more lovely that they were both looking as gorgeous as they invariably do.  Knobhead, Dickhead, Dorothy and I were thrown together as friends a little while back whilst we were living in the hellhole known as Pen y Llan Courts in Connah's Quay, an housing complex that can only be described as Beirut on crack & meth.  Our friendship grew out of our need to pass some time and making separate decisions to do that within the confines of a communal garden. We got onto speaking terms after living mere feet from each other for a couple of years, my reluctance being from my need for privacy and his from the gossip that he had heard about me from a vile cunt who lived next door.  We have moved on from there now, a few miles apart and in much better places. The vile cunt didn't and died shortly after I left.  Karma eh?

Now our friendship is an unusual one, what with me being gay and him being incredibly straight and butch.  That's a laugh because in many ways he's much more gay than me with his grooming, his domestic excellence and his need for being liked by everyone.  The only poofy thing he doesn't do is the sex. I on the other hand am blokey as a bloke can be, live in a dishevelled home and couldn't give s hit whether people like me or not.  The only poofy thing I do is the sex, and I have given that up as a sticky lost cause. The nicest thing Knobhead ever said to me was that if he was gay I would be the one he'd choose.  I would reciprocate, but he's far too gay for me. However if I were ever to need a rottweiler on my side he's definitely the one for me even though he's the girly Knobhead who named me Mavis.

Sadly our chat today was interrupted by a summons from the 98 year old bird next door who needed help.  It turned out she didn't want anything but to ramble incoherently for a while, to thank me for the birthday card that I sent her a month ago and to tell me to apologise to my girlfriend (WTF?) for taking up so much of my time.  I last saw her at the beginning of October.  The old bird that is.  I last saw any girlfriend back in 1986.