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Twas the night before the night before...

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Christmas is almost upon us and there's the stench of frantic preparation in the air.  The roads are busier than usual, the shops are full of heaving trolleys and the people on the streets are barking their festive greetings at one another.  In a little over a week this rigmarole will be repeated for the welcoming of the new year.  You may call me a cynic for believing that this is mostly false sentiment of the masses.  Their goodwill lasts as long as it takes for their good wishes to fall from their lips.  They walk past those in need as quickly and as ignorantly as they did yesterday, and the days before that. It makes my piss boil.  I do my best with what little I have but it's a mere drop in the ocean when fighting the injustice of what's purported to be civilised society.  As a child had I known what I know now about mankind my life would have taken a very different path.  I'm not claiming to be a saint or wise man, nor am I of the false belief that I would ha

The Surgical Spirit of Christmas

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It was good to see my youngest nephew in fine spirit today after what has been a tumultuous year for the young man.  It was also fantastic to be able to buy him a gift that he wanted - his ears pierced.  I met him and my mum in Chester and went directly to the nearest tattooist shop where I had started my own piercing journey many moons ago.  These days I now only have one piercing in my left nipple but at one time I rattled when I shook my head.  Sadly I don't possess many photos of myself from those days, however I was able to find one of my nephew and I from that time..... My nephew was very brave when faced with the needles and didn't even wince when the piercings took place.  I'm proud of how well he did and how far he has come this year considering the almost catastrophic start to his year.  Good on you kid!  From the tattooist we went to grab coffee and have a natter, where three generations sat together, gambled and discussed the delicacy of blow jobs.  Obv

You look familiar

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How many times have you  been told by someone that you look familiar? Over the years I've heard it a few times and been told that I remind people of various 'stars', including David Carradine (back when I shaved my head) and most insultingly Cesar Rosas, a rather overweight singer and guitarist from the band Los Lobos.  The only trait we shared was a dark goatee beard, for although I have struggled with my weight over the years I have never actually been rotund. Now you may wonder why the lead image from the app Grindr appears on this blog.  Well whilst shopping today I was casually minding my own business when a gentleman said to me that I looked familiar to him.  I recognised him instantly, but being diplomatic I said that I didn't know him but that maybe it was because I live in the area and he would have seen me around town.  I'm not normally known for my skill at keeping my foot out of my gob but he was doing his shopping with a lady and didn't think

Resisting the urge

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How hard do you find it to resist temptation for a little decadence in your life? I have managed to go through this year with buying only one new pair of trainers.  That was until today when I stumbled upon these beauties.  Now I can't say that stumbled is strictly true because I was browsing for a pair as a Christmas gift to myself. Everyone should wear a new outfit on Christmas day, and more recently the trend has been for jumpers with cute festive motifs.  I have managed to buck that particular trend for many years and shall continue to do so but I have decided that I want to look the dog's bollocks this year.  So far I have purchased the above trainers, a pair of 32" waist dark blue Levis ® and a black fitted t-shirt. Only the jeans have arrived but the others have plenty of time to get here before the day.  I tried them on and they fit like a glove. Get me in a 32" waist, albeit with muffin top. I'm itching to try the whole outfit on together but I sha

Friendzoning

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As much as it is a slap in the face friendzoning is possibly the kindest thing to be done when faced with unwanted attention.  From that initial rejection can be borne a friendship that would outlast any other kind of relationship that could have developed. I have been on the receiving end of being zoned plenty of times and from those experiences I have developed a couple of friends whose company I enjoy, possibly more so than if I had managed to woo myself into their pants. I cannot say that it doesn't hurt when someone you find attractive does not reciprocate that desire, but imagine how much more it would hurt had you both let the feelings grow and then have the relationship crash and burn.  Perhaps that's where I have gone wrong in life, because I am unsure whether I have been the zoner.  Thinking back I feel that it's something I would definitely have been better off doing had I not been flattered by the attention and then moved on to forming relationships that sh

Tales of the unexpected

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I was supposed to be meeting up with the Grubby Countrygirl in Chester but unfortunately poor Mary (GC's favourite pooch) had started with ear trouble again and so we rain-checked brunch for a time as yet to be arranged.  So I found myself at a bit of a loose end with not a lot to do until my afternoon appointment with the beautiful Podiatrist, a woman who in another life I would happily give a good boning to.  What did I do? Housework that I had prepared to do once I'd got home from my day's outings. Chores done I caught the bus into Shotton to grab a few bits that I needed and then popped for a latté at a café near the station.  The coffee was lovely and warming but I regretted not grabbing a take out instead of opting to rest my legs.  The smell of the morning's greasy cooked breakfasts was thick in the air and although it made me a tad hungry I threw the coffee down my neck and left as quickly as possible.  I may as well have ordered a breakfast because that sm

Standing in the light of your halo

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When I got married on my birthday back in 2012 there was a particular song that I thought represented how I felt but I was wrong.  The angel I thought I had found soon turned into a demon.  In fact it took less than 24 hours before his true colours showed through and I knew then that I had made a very big mistake in marrying someone I had known for quite a few years and trusted to have my best interests at heart.  I won't talk about that episode more than I have already, for this is about a song that I fell out of love with.  That is until it was brought back into my mind by my longest random internet friend who lives at the other end of the country.  To me his name is Liberacé (or Libby for short) due to his musicality and penchant for as much cock as he can get.  I don't think that's much these days since he is almost dead in gay years. It's still more than I have been getting but i'm not short of offers .  I chose to give all that mullarkey up a while back.  I&#

Boys Boys Boys

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Dickhead - Dorothy's boyfriend Knobhead - I'd snog him if I had to It was a delight to be visited by two of my favourite boys this morning and even more lovely that they were both looking as gorgeous as they invariably do.  Knobhead, Dickhead, Dorothy and I were thrown together as friends a little while back whilst we were living in the hellhole known as Pen y Llan Courts in Connah's Quay, an housing complex that can only be described as Beirut on crack & meth.  Our friendship grew out of our need to pass some time and making separate decisions to do that within the confines of a communal garden. We got onto speaking terms after living mere feet from each other for a couple of years, my reluctance being from my need for privacy and his from the gossip that he had heard about me from a vile cunt who lived next door.  We have moved on from there now, a few miles apart and in much better places. The vile cunt didn't and died shortly after I left.  Karma

Expectations and Disappointments

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I'm not one for expecting much of people because of the resulting disappointment that so often occurs, however I do expect some courtesy from those I choose to have access to my life.  This past week has definitely been one for mild disappointment from that small expectation of my fellow human beings. I am left questioning myself: is it something that I have done to warrant such disregard for my time? I don't think it is , so the only answer that I have come up with is that some people are simply rude and/or ignorant of the impact they can have on others. I'll cope with it, like I always have, but I must say that it hurts just a little bit.  I know for sure that one person in particular won't have the opportunity to let me down again for I  have closed down all methods of them communicating with me, bar them writing a letter which would go in the recycling bin. I have not asked for or expect an explanation or an apology from them, and equally I won't give them

Hipster

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I have just heard that the friend who was to be visiting later today is in A&E with some kind of hip trouble.  I hope it's not something serious but I suspect that I will be at a loose end later.  I have therefore made contingency plans to pop to Chester to do a little more Christmas shopping for the couple of people I still wish to show my appreciation of. I always find it difficult to select gifts for anyone other than my mum who always seems pleased with what I have given her.  This year she has had an early gift of new digital phones for her home, but I cannot leave it at that since everyone deserves at least one surprise on Christmas day. I have an idea but cannot share it with you since she has taken up reading my blog.  I am yet to teach her how to comment because I fear her revealing far too many of my secrets .  There are quite a selection for her to choose from, and all of them an embarrassment to me. Today has been a very welcome day of intermittent naps a

Catching up

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It always feels good to catch up on stuff that has been waiting around in the mire that is our minds.  Over the past week it seems that catching up is all I have done, with both my own chores and those of other people.  The worst of those neglected tasks was assisting a friend who had become long overdue in handing in coursework for a qualification, a task that I was told about last Wednesday and had to be completed by Sunday night.  She had scarcely begun the process, was feeling desperate and eventually reached out to me for help.  I agreed, she came over to mine and we made a start on what at first seemed quite a simple job but that illusion was soon shattered. I then spent the next four days attempting to dissect the information given by the examining body, written in a language that seemed alien. Three course units later it was finally completed yesterday on my own whilst my friend was in work.  I am always happy to help people, but I think it's the last time I shall agre

Hiatus

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A little over a week has gone by in which time I have been rendered laptopless, sat here with my titties out and no method to communicate except for my mobile/cell phone that has no facility to write anything other than the odd email and text message. Hence the absence of any recent blog entry.  My old laptop which in tech circles could be described as clockwork decided to give up the ghost by refusing to do anything than display a black screen of death.  I was definitely due for an upgrade but my reluctance to spend money had me putting off such an extravagant purchase.  My hand was forced.  So I browsed around, found a lovely looking thing that seemed to be what I needed and clicked the button to "buy now".  This morning my new toy arrived and posed a question that should never have been asked........why leave it so long? For starters it is half the weight of it's predecessor and so far seems to be infinitely faster at serving it's purpose.  Add to that a fully fun

The magic of medicine

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Once a month I have an hospital appointment with a podiatrist who tends to my trotters so skillfully that they are now in the best condition they have been for years.  It's been a long process that at times has made me question the point of trying to save my foot from amputation.  A few months ago when I was yet again on a course of antibiotics that was issued following the removal of a few pieces of bone and the subsequent pathology report sent to my GP I had decided that elective surgery was the road I wished to go down since it was inevitable that this would be the outcome in time.  A consultation was arranged with a surgeon and I felt relieved that I was soon going to be free of the palaver of treatment.  A quick flick of the scalpel and my foot would be able to heal without the need for more debilitating drugs and dressings. Then fate stepped in.  For one reason or another I missed my appointment and the treatment had to continue .  I was in a low place and ready to give up

Give me five

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It's difficult to find songs that mean something to you when the choice out there is so vast and our tastes change as we grow older.  Today my choices are different to what they would have been when I was a teenager back in the 80s because my perception of what has meaning is also different.  I was once immortal, or rather death never entered my head, but now as I get older it becomes ever more present with the passing of loved ones.  I'm not quite on my deathbed yet but the above song is definitely the one that I would want if any loved ones I were to leave behind would select if they insisted on some kind of service.  I'm not a religious man and I definitely believe that we are born, we live and then we die.  That's it, no more, no less. In a nutshell I wouldn't be anything other than a memory. Christ that's all a bit maudlin.  Forgive me an indulgence. I have good news.  Dorothy's bowels have recovered, albeit that they are a little sluggis

For the love of Dorothy

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Dorothy I have mentioned Dorothy a couple of times but haven't formally introduced her. Now this is an old photograph and she isn't so pretty any longer, primarily due to her advancing years but also because she now has only one eye. The other was fell victim to an unfortunate accident involving a puppy who was determined to scratch them out.  Sadly I was only able to save the left eye and the right was removed around two years ago.  She copes brilliantly except for in the dark when her distance perception becomes limited.  She is also a little more clingy than before, although I put that down to the fact that I'm so lovable. You know it's true. Sundays are incredibly dull here and besides a little conversation with the neighbours over the garden fence whilst vacuuming the leaves of grassI haven't seen or spoken to a soul.  I beg your pardon, for there was a knock on the door this morning that disturbed me from my least favourite chore of washing up. I &q

Three's a crowd

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Crowds are what faced me once I had alighted the bus and headed towards Chester cathedral and town hall square.  I had forgotten about the newly unveiled travelling sculpture Knife Angel being a magnet for both locals and tourists, the latter being mainly from the orient and of diminutive size.  Now i'm not saying that's a bad thing but they do have a tendency to suddenly appear under my feet and they're incredibly lucky to not be crushed by my size 11 (US12) trotters.  Think of that squelchy popping sound that slugs make and imagine the carnage that could have ensued.  Thankfully this didn't happen and especially not within the sight of "God". The sculpture was more impressive than I had first thought when I saw the announcements in our local newspaper.  I guess matt paper and black ink doesn't do justice to anything with a sheen of bronze, silver and gold. I was most impressed by the rear view of the angel and it's beautifully formed bubble butt cov

Twos Up

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Mention twos up to a homosexual and the instant thought that goes through their mind is probably one that involves double penetration .  In this case all salaciousness can be left with your coat at the door and think only of this being the second day of my blogging history. I'm having a sleepless night it would seem for a few reasons, but mainly due to my feet deciding that the wee small hours is the time for their performance of Michael Flatley's Riverdance epic. As skilled as it may be to shake your legs around like a funkless chicken I have never been a fan of that art form, and even less so at 3:30 am when all I want to do is sleep. Needless to say Dorothy heard the tip tap of the keyboard and has joined me on the sofa to keep me company, although her contribution so far (and will be all night) is to plonk herself down, arse pointing in my direction and snoring with her usual lulling rhythm.  This blogging thing is new to me and being one who finds it difficult to

Day 1

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Today has been an odd day to begin writing what was supposed to be the start of something new.  This blog was never supposed to be concerned with politics but a way to give a little insight into what rubbish happens to float through my head , the effects of said rubbish upon others, and how I develop as I take steps into being more open.   As a nation we were to begin our path outside of the European Union , but we find ourselves somewhat "stuck" with the old.  Now I don't really mind that we haven't left that particular marriage since I have a belief that peace definitely comes with unity, however I see so much anger within our shores that i'm becoming of the mind that the sooner it is over the sooner we can start to rebuild what the divisive "fascists" have attempted to destroy. Perhaps the upcoming general election will give us a chance to sort out the mess that division has left us with.  I spent most of my day reading through articles from all