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Showing posts from December, 2019

Twas the night before the night before...

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Christmas is almost upon us and there's the stench of frantic preparation in the air.  The roads are busier than usual, the shops are full of heaving trolleys and the people on the streets are barking their festive greetings at one another.  In a little over a week this rigmarole will be repeated for the welcoming of the new year.  You may call me a cynic for believing that this is mostly false sentiment of the masses.  Their goodwill lasts as long as it takes for their good wishes to fall from their lips.  They walk past those in need as quickly and as ignorantly as they did yesterday, and the days before that. It makes my piss boil.  I do my best with what little I have but it's a mere drop in the ocean when fighting the injustice of what's purported to be civilised society.  As a child had I known what I know now about mankind my life would have taken a very different path.  I'm not claiming to be a saint or wise man, nor am I of the false belief that I would ha

The Surgical Spirit of Christmas

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It was good to see my youngest nephew in fine spirit today after what has been a tumultuous year for the young man.  It was also fantastic to be able to buy him a gift that he wanted - his ears pierced.  I met him and my mum in Chester and went directly to the nearest tattooist shop where I had started my own piercing journey many moons ago.  These days I now only have one piercing in my left nipple but at one time I rattled when I shook my head.  Sadly I don't possess many photos of myself from those days, however I was able to find one of my nephew and I from that time..... My nephew was very brave when faced with the needles and didn't even wince when the piercings took place.  I'm proud of how well he did and how far he has come this year considering the almost catastrophic start to his year.  Good on you kid!  From the tattooist we went to grab coffee and have a natter, where three generations sat together, gambled and discussed the delicacy of blow jobs.  Obv

You look familiar

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How many times have you  been told by someone that you look familiar? Over the years I've heard it a few times and been told that I remind people of various 'stars', including David Carradine (back when I shaved my head) and most insultingly Cesar Rosas, a rather overweight singer and guitarist from the band Los Lobos.  The only trait we shared was a dark goatee beard, for although I have struggled with my weight over the years I have never actually been rotund. Now you may wonder why the lead image from the app Grindr appears on this blog.  Well whilst shopping today I was casually minding my own business when a gentleman said to me that I looked familiar to him.  I recognised him instantly, but being diplomatic I said that I didn't know him but that maybe it was because I live in the area and he would have seen me around town.  I'm not normally known for my skill at keeping my foot out of my gob but he was doing his shopping with a lady and didn't think

Resisting the urge

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How hard do you find it to resist temptation for a little decadence in your life? I have managed to go through this year with buying only one new pair of trainers.  That was until today when I stumbled upon these beauties.  Now I can't say that stumbled is strictly true because I was browsing for a pair as a Christmas gift to myself. Everyone should wear a new outfit on Christmas day, and more recently the trend has been for jumpers with cute festive motifs.  I have managed to buck that particular trend for many years and shall continue to do so but I have decided that I want to look the dog's bollocks this year.  So far I have purchased the above trainers, a pair of 32" waist dark blue Levis ® and a black fitted t-shirt. Only the jeans have arrived but the others have plenty of time to get here before the day.  I tried them on and they fit like a glove. Get me in a 32" waist, albeit with muffin top. I'm itching to try the whole outfit on together but I sha

Friendzoning

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As much as it is a slap in the face friendzoning is possibly the kindest thing to be done when faced with unwanted attention.  From that initial rejection can be borne a friendship that would outlast any other kind of relationship that could have developed. I have been on the receiving end of being zoned plenty of times and from those experiences I have developed a couple of friends whose company I enjoy, possibly more so than if I had managed to woo myself into their pants. I cannot say that it doesn't hurt when someone you find attractive does not reciprocate that desire, but imagine how much more it would hurt had you both let the feelings grow and then have the relationship crash and burn.  Perhaps that's where I have gone wrong in life, because I am unsure whether I have been the zoner.  Thinking back I feel that it's something I would definitely have been better off doing had I not been flattered by the attention and then moved on to forming relationships that sh

Tales of the unexpected

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I was supposed to be meeting up with the Grubby Countrygirl in Chester but unfortunately poor Mary (GC's favourite pooch) had started with ear trouble again and so we rain-checked brunch for a time as yet to be arranged.  So I found myself at a bit of a loose end with not a lot to do until my afternoon appointment with the beautiful Podiatrist, a woman who in another life I would happily give a good boning to.  What did I do? Housework that I had prepared to do once I'd got home from my day's outings. Chores done I caught the bus into Shotton to grab a few bits that I needed and then popped for a lattĂ© at a cafĂ© near the station.  The coffee was lovely and warming but I regretted not grabbing a take out instead of opting to rest my legs.  The smell of the morning's greasy cooked breakfasts was thick in the air and although it made me a tad hungry I threw the coffee down my neck and left as quickly as possible.  I may as well have ordered a breakfast because that sm