Tales of the unexpected

I was supposed to be meeting up with the Grubby Countrygirl in Chester but unfortunately poor Mary (GC's favourite pooch) had started with ear trouble again and so we rain-checked brunch for a time as yet to be arranged.  So I found myself at a bit of a loose end with not a lot to do until my afternoon appointment with the beautiful Podiatrist, a woman who in another life I would happily give a good boning to.  What did I do? Housework that I had prepared to do once I'd got home from my day's outings. Chores done I caught the bus into Shotton to grab a few bits that I needed and then popped for a latté at a café near the station.  The coffee was lovely and warming but I regretted not grabbing a take out instead of opting to rest my legs.  The smell of the morning's greasy cooked breakfasts was thick in the air and although it made me a tad hungry I threw the coffee down my neck and left as quickly as possible.  I may as well have ordered a breakfast because that smell haunted me for the rest of the day, clinging to the fibres of my clothes and my body.  What doesn't seem so bad when consumed is nauseating  when it assaults you with every breath.  I got to my appointment a little early and sat outside the hospital for a quick cigarette, ignoring the signs everywhere telling me that I was committing an offence.  Fuck the rules. Fags save lives.....it's FACT! I could sense the disapproval of some distant, uppity health board but the lack of security at this tiny hospital for geriatrics meant nobody was going to challenge me and I wouldn't have cared even if they had.  "What are you going to do? Call the feds and have me done for ...?" Into the appointment, feet tended, moans exchanged, introduction to Ecclefechans done and then on my merry way home to an afternoon of nothing. 

Here's where things become a little more interesting.  Anyone who knows me also knows that I suffer from sleep deprivation, usually only managing to grab a couple of hours per night and the odd forty winks here and there.  It's exhausting to say the least and so I welcome any dozing that may occur.  With the heating and radio on I cuddled up with Dorothy on the sofa and was promptly lulled into a deep sleep.  When I awoke it was dark both inside and out, and i felt just a tad disoriented but Dorothy was still by my side which always feels reassuring.  I picked up my phone to check the time and discovered that not only had I slept for three hours but also that i had missed a couple of calls from a friend i hadn't seen in quite a long while. "Are you home this evening?" said the voicemail. "I am always home" I thought.  I grabbed a drink to wet my whistle and dialed the number to return the call.  The velvety voice of "the bearded biker without a bike" answered and I told him that I had moved several times since I last saw him. He was back in the area to see family and wondered if he could call and see me for a brew .  My door is always open to anyone that I like so I gave him my address and he was here within half an hour.  We chatted, drank coffee (tea for him)  and caught up with each other's lives.  I am brutally honest about my physical failings and told him all that had been going on with my rotting carcass, including the lack of teeth in my mouth.  He was most sympathetic and told me that I hadn't changed much in his eyes, although he could see I'd lost weight. It was time for him to leave so I walked him to the door, we hugged and as we released each other he grabbed my head in his hands and snogged me. Full on. 

Obviously being both a sucker for a beard and also a desperate old homosexual I responded in kind........and then he was gone.